This post for everybody. It is not about being in a traditional relationship or in love. It is about engaging in diverse and meaningful connections with those around us.
Before I started dating my current husband, I had pretty similar views to my previous partners. The same goes for my group of friends from college. The last few years have shown me the importance of having people in my life with different experiences and points of view.
I am keeping today’s post short and sweet since I am writing during a week of inpatient service but I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to remind us all to stay civil. The world can be an anxiety-provoking, crazy place if we don’t manage our thoughts about what other people are or aren’t doing. You probably know by now that we can’t control outside circumstances or stranger’s actions. It feels silly to say but the last 2 years have been a perfect example of this.
I wanted to share three tips that have helped me thrive in many relationships with people that have opposing views, particularly with my husband. I am not going to say it is the easiest thing to have a partner with very different political views but I have found it extremely rewarding.
#1 Meet people with opposing views.
This may seem obvious but too many of us are not spending any time with anyone with views unlike our own. I think is it is very helpful to hear why people that I love and love me back choose a certain political candidate or view that I find despicable (won’t name any names…). It is easy to vilify those we don’t know. It also takes a toll to feel that people are evil or bad for not agreeing with 100% of the things we believe in. Having discussions with people you trust and respect can be incredibly helpful in meeting in the middle. You can’t do this if you don’t have people with opposing views in your inner circle!
#2 Most people’s decisions have nothing to do with you.
I was definitely the type of person to be impacted by other people’s decisions. I felt personally attacked and/or insulted whenever someone chose any opposing view to mine, especially those I felt were morally wrong. As I spent more time talking to people about why they made the choices they did, I realized that most of those choices had nothing to do with me and that it is not because they hate x,y,z. There is always going to be a small subset of people who do hate Jews, Blacks, or other minorities but the world feels like a much better place when you really learn how and why people have the opinions they do.
#3 Agree to disagree.
You cannot be right 100% of the time, that is how the world works. Nobody is right all the time. Can you think of where you might be wrong when arguing with others? Are you able to see what choices you have made or continue to make that may not be the best decision? We are all a work in progress and have room for improvement. It is ok with disagree with others and move on from it. I may disagree with someone’s opinion, even when I understand why they have it and that is ok.
As we go into 2022 with many news about death threats, disruptions of meetings, and other types of violence, I hope we can all listen to each other to move towards a better, more loving world for everybody.
