I love to work out. I don’t always like it while it is happening but I love how I feel when I am done. It is upsetting to me if I don’t feel like the work out was hard enough. I know I had a good one if I felt like I was almost going to vomit. In other words, the best exercise I get is the one that makes me extremely uncomfortable. The person I am at the end of it feels strong and accomplished.
I recently noticed that I do not feel the same way about other hard things that are less tangible. Things like working on something I am not good at, learning a new skill, or anything that may involve putting myself out there. I was talking with a life coach about why every time I had to work on a specific project, I found other things to do or tried to push it back. I had just finished exercising and was still wearing work out clothes. She asked me if I liked to do easy routines or hard ones. Once we started talking about that, it was easy for me to see that the metaphor of the gym could easily be applied to my every day projects.
It seems common sense that when we do new things or hard things that we will feel uncomfortable but our brain tries to protect us from failure and rejection by telling us we should avoid these activities. This all happens very fast at the unconscious level (at least for me) and now that I am aware of it, I developed a framework to move me past the avoidance and into feeling extremely uncomfortable (without vomiting!) while achieving my goals.
Here are some tips to push through the discomfort and into growth, whether it is at home, work, emotionally, or in any area of life.
- Become aware. As usual, this is step one. If we don’t even know there is a problem, we can’t begin to fix it. Until this recent conversation, I just told myself that when I was avoiding this project, it was because I wasn’t required to do it for work and I could just do it whenever I wanted. If you notice that you keep avoiding or re-scheduling the same thing, take some time to do a deeper dive on why or maybe even talk it through with a friend or coach.
- Expect the discomfort. Once I started becoming aware, I felt frustrated whenever I felt uncomfortable again. I am not sure why I thought the feeling would magically disappear just because I identified it. I have moved on from expecting to never feel uncomfortable again to now expecting it. I talk to myself about it and pretend I am encouraging a dear friend when I notice the discomfort creeping up again.
- Remind yourself of your why. If you are doing something you are not good at (yet) or that pushes you out of your comfort zone, it is key to know why. It is very hard to do something you don’t necessarily want to be doing if you don’t have a strong why. I not only remind myself of why I choose to do the things I do, but also keep bringing the work out analogy to help accept feeling uncomfortable while doing something.
- Schedule the time. It really helps to break down the tasks that it will take to complete your project and to then schedule it. Create a timeline and plan accordingly.
- Give yourself grace. This is advice for everything but especially when you are doing hard things. Self-compassion is key in any journey.
Have you been uncomfortable lately? If not, why? Share any hard projects you are doing and any tips to keep going below! Being uncomfortable is the only way to grow.
Picture of me doing hard things but enjoying the results!