I have always strived to help those that need it most. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time working with groups like National Organization for Women (NOW) and Medical Students for Choice. As a physician, I have the chance to ensure that all groups of people get the medical care they deserve. However, a few years ago I realized that existing in this space was not enough. I wanted to learn more about everyone I was trying to help, to give back more, and to actively combat racism and prejudice as I see it.
This month, we celebrate Pride, which is why I wanted to write about allies. One of my main goals in life now is to make sure I raise amazing human beings that will continue to do their part in helping all people have equal rights.
Here are some easy steps to incorporate a more intentional way of raising allies and/or children who may identify as something else than their birth sex as they grow up.
- Open dialogue. Children have lots of questions. LOTS. ALL THE TIME. If your children ask can someone have two daddies or two mommies (real questions from mine), answer them. Yes, of course they can. This may lead to more questions if your children are like mine. It is important to have age appropriate conversations in non-judgmental ways, so they can keep asking whatever comes to their little minds. If you start having an open and honest dialogue since they are little, they will hopefully feel comfortable sharing things with you as they grow up.
- Teach respect and inclusion. This one really is an obvious one but still worth mentioning. It is so important in this day and age where people on TV and social media are tearing each other down constantly to remind our children to be respectful. I always ask my kids when someone on TV or a movie is being rude if they are being nice or mean. They always know the difference. This is a great time to have a short conversation about it, for example, is it nice to act that way? No! Of course not. Do we want to treat friends like that? No, of course not. Inclusivity is also important. Most of the shows and books children see will not have two parents of the same sex (hello Disney movies…), which brings me to step 3.
- Introduce LGBTQ+ themes. Finding age appropriate stories, songs, books, movies, and other media where LGBTQ+ are depicted in accurate ways is extremely important. As I mentioned earlier, my children are filled with questions. We talk about how boys can wear skirts if they want to. We also spend a lot of time talking about how there are no boy or girl colors or haircuts, which comes up a lot in my house. We hang out with friends from the LGBTQ+ community and when my kids have questions, we answer them.
- Model acceptance. It is not very useful to tell your children to be respectful of others if you are not acting that way. Watching the words we use and the way we speak about others is key. Being kind and accepting of those that may be different than us is another way to model this for our children. My daughter notices what everyone wears when we go out or what their hair looks like and loves to comment on it. If she points someone’s hair or outfit that looks different than what we are used to, I always make sure to have kind words.
- Engage in community involvement. Attending events that support the LGBTQ+ community will show your children acceptance and the importance of supporting others. Supporting LGBTQ+ owned business, donating money to organizations that support important causes, and volunteering are other great ways to get involved.
As always, I welcome tips or suggestions on how to continue to improve as an ally! Happy Pride, y’all!
Here is a list of organizations you can donate to:
The Trevor Project. https://give.thetrevorproject.org/
Human Rights Watch. https://donate.hrw.org/
National Center for Transgender Equality. https://transequality.org/
The Family Equality Council. https://www.familyequality.org/
These are only a few! Please consider donating to any other organization you like, local or national politicians that support the LGBTQ+ community, or even local centers that are helping those in need.