This post is also inspired by my friend Maggie. She was wondering how I could always know when I was available or wasn’t, how I knew what to do, and how other people fit in when making plans.
As I mentioned in the last post, I keep a lot of ‘free time’ in my schedule. This way I can easily make plans with people or go do whatever I want to do with my family without anyone else.
I find that there are three important pieces to making plans work with other people. Not everyone is into hanging out and planning ahead, and that is ok too!
Keep reading to find out how I make it work…
Step 1 – Big Picture
We all have dates we know we want to do things for. Birthdays, holidays, special occasions…I usually start there. If you know me, you know there will be several events in February of every year celebrating my birthday (and now my son’s!).
It helps to have a planner or calendar where you can have a big picture view. If you know there are dates you want to celebrate, get them on the schedule as soon as you can. You may not need to plan your 37th birthday 6 months in advance but at least a month prior to the date you can start thinking about what you want to do and invite the main people you want there.
Planning trips requires more times due to changes in pricing for flights and accommodations and also booking availability. It often helps to do online surveys to get everyone’s preferred date and start there.
As kids get older, the weekends fill themselves with sports and other activities. That helps with planning, since you will have to schedule around those dates.
Another way I come up with activities is to follow the seasons. I love to go to farms for the Fall, go to local gardens for holiday lights, and do beach trips for the summer. Most places have calendars of events you can browse to see if anything looks good.
Step 2 – Don’t be afraid to make the plans
I mentioned earlier not everyone likes to plan ahead of time. If you want specific events or times that work for you, it is great to be the planner!
We all have busy schedules and I like to get the ball rolling. I am usually pretty exhausted by the time Friday comes around, so I may not want to spend time figuring out activities for the weekend.
Down time is important too. I don’t schedule activities for every weekend and every hour. My family and I enjoy many lazy mornings and strolling around our neighborhood or going to local parks.
Step 3 – Boundaries
We all have friends or relatives who we know are hard to make plans with. I used to spend lots of time trying to figure out how to make it work and even get upset when people wouldn’t commit.
I no longer feel this way. The same way I am understanding of other people’s apprehension to committing way in advance, I expect them to be understanding of my need for planning.
I invite people to do things and set dates in my mind by which plans need to be made in order to work. My feelings don’t get hurt if they can’t make it or can’t commit. If it works for them to join last second, they are always welcome.
If you are planning a trip, it often helps to book in places where people can join later if they want to. Resorts, beach towns, and ski areas may have lots of options but get more expensive if you don’t book in advance. However, it gives those who don’t want to book to soon an option to still come if they don’t mind paying extra or renting less desirable options.
When people reach out to make plans, I always take them seriously. I don’t tell anyone I want to hang out with them if I don’t mean it. If someone says let’s meet up or go somewhere, I try to set a date. I don’t hold out if they are vague or don’t commit. I don’t take it personally and hope they don’t either!
If you follow the three steps above, you will be sure to be a pro at making plans with others. It will also allow you to do lots of fun things in stress free ways!
Hanging with family!