Most of you probably know that March is Women’s History Month and that March 8 is International Women’s Day. I try to write something relevant or in honor of this month during one of my March blog posts but this year I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. At first I thought I could feature a prominent woman or even write something about a woman that has inspired me. I also thought I could do something to support the theme of this month or the history behind it but it didn’t feel authentic.
Then, it hit me. I’ve had body image on my list of blog topics for a while now but have avoided writing about it, mainly because I already feel like I spend too much time thinking about my body and not in a good way. This topic is probably one of the most controversial and influential topics in women’s lives, often for unfortunate reasons.
Now that I have a little girl, it has become extremely important to me that I model good behavior around my body image and that I help contribute to create a world where women are not judged by the way they look.
Body image is the way you see yourself when you look in the mirror or picture yourself in your mind. It includes our beliefs about our body, our feelings about what we look like, and how we feel/experience our body. We are all familiar with the ways that body image can be affected negatively and I wanted to focus this post on how we can help little girls develop positive attitudes towards their bodies. These tips can also be used for boys.
10 ways to help build a positive body image
- Talk about diverse bodies. We cannot avoid talking about the body and we shouldn’t! What is important is how we talk about it. Diverse bodies are everywhere and it is important to talk about the differences. I have many children’s books that feature tall, short, big, small, dark, light, and many other diverse features. My kids really enjoy going through these and talking about how we are all so different on the outside but also the same on the inside!
- Focus on what bodies can do. I love telling my daughter how strong she is or talking about how I love my belly because I grew my babies inside of it.
- Curate images around you and your family. I like to do this mostly for myself but it spills over into my kids’ environment. It is easy to feel down on how we look if everything around us are filtered or photoshopped images that are not realistic.
- Watch how you speak about yourself. I am guilty of this one and constantly have to watch what I say. Kids are always listening. I try to avoid saying things like “I feel fat” or talking badly about how I look. We have also spent some time talking about the word fat and not using it as a bad word or even as way to describe people when we can choose others.
- Choose words carefully. We don’t just need to watch when we say things that are not nice about ourselves but also how we speak in general. For example, telling someone they are too skinny or they are clumsy can contribute to negative body image. It is always best to focus on speaking about what bodies can do and not what they look like.
- Engage the environment. There is a lot of social media and television/movies showing unrealistic expectations of bodies. It is important to acknowledge this, particularly with our young daughters, so they can realize these are exceptions and not the norm.
- Remind them who is in charge of their feelings. My daughter always tells me who is hurting her feelings but I try to teach her that she is in charge of how she feels. Other kids may say things she doesn’t like but that doesn’t make them true and even if they are, she can choose to ignore any mean comments. She tells me it is hard but I feel like this is a skill we can all benefit from!
- Choose kindness. Kids are always going to be kids and some adults act like kids forever! When my daughter tells me about things other kids do that she doesn’t like, I always remind her that she is only in charge of herself and she should try to be kind whenever she can. We also talk about how we all make mistakes and that is ok but to always try and do better when we realize we did something wrong!
- Talk about healthy habits. I grew up with diets all around me and things have not gotten better since then. Everywhere you look there is a promise of a magic solution. I love to review healthy eating with my children and talking about proteins, healthy fats and carbs, and even how having dessert in moderation is ok.
- Acceptance. If possible, remind your children that they are already exactly how they are supposed to be. I have been tempted many times (and may have done it…) to tell my kids they are perfect but that word is a bit loaded and I feel like it may also lead to a negative body image. Focusing on how their bodies are already doing what they are supposed to be doing and how anything else they do after is only to make their bodies healthy and strong has been helpful for me.
Happy Women’s History Month!! I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing, strong women in my family, at work, and with my chosen friends. Building a positive body image is something I struggle with and work very hard to improve, so please comment with any tips and/or suggestions!!