‘Tis the season to get together with friends, family, and co-workers and celebrate the holidays. For me, this is also a time to reflect on the past year and plan for the future. What does this have to do with gratitude you may ask? It can be so easy to get caught up in the daily grind, the busy schedules, the mundane tasks, and the annoying parts of our jobs that we forget to appreciate how we got to where we are today, the people that helped, and the daily experiences that keep us going.
Research has shown that gratitude is strongly associated with greater happiness. There are many definitions for gratitude but I like this one: “Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible.” 1 I didn’t start thinking about gratitude until after I finished residency. In general, I didn’t have much time to think about anything during that time, but I wish I had since I think it would have helped me immensely.
I did my training for Pediatric Neurology in New York, while my now husband lived in the Philadelphia area. When I moved back to Philly to do my last fellowship, I finally felt like I was in a place to start looking into my future and forge the life I always wanted. I felt happy in all aspects of my life and I was filled with an immense sense of gratitude. I was thankful for my family and friends who supported me through all my years of training, thankful to be able to live with my husband after years of being apart, thankful for having landed my dream job, and for being able to start a family.
Around that time, I started listing ten things I was grateful for daily when I was going to bed. I am still doing this ritual every night and although I didn’t list this as a tip in my sleep post, I definitely think this super helpful. It’s easy to come up with that list when things are going well and you feel happy but on the hard days, I have to dig deep and find the beauty in the little things. It forces me to run through my day and find closure to it, which helps my mind quiet down and fall asleep.
When my second child was born early, it was hard to feel grateful. I was scared, angry, tired, and anxious. These are the times when thinking about gratitude is most important. It forces you to push through all your negative feelings and identify something good that happened in your day. It can be anything that brings you joy in that moment: the warm sun through the car window in a cold day, a friendly interaction with a random stranger in an unexpected place, extra hugs from your toddler, or even fresh sheets on the bed.
As life goes on, more responsibilities develop. We build our careers, we get married and have children, we buy houses, cars, and get in debt. It is so important to remain grateful and to remember what is truly important in our lives.
During this holiday season, I wish you and your family a restful end of the year and may 2020 bring peace and ability to fulfill all your dreams.
- Giving thanks can make you happier. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier